Make or Break
When you think about why we do when it comes to pursuing a career, it's really only for two reasons. The first is because we chase the promotion or a pay raise because we think the money or power will change things. The other reason, maybe more common in sports or some competitive field is because you want to be remembered. You want to be the greatest and have gained some kind of respect for your accomplishments. I'm not confident of saying which of these, if either, is the correct way, but I tend to find myself identifying more with the second. Consequently, I've thought a lot about what it means to be great and what it takes to get there. I'm not sure what I've decided on, but I know that I'm in a period challenging my belief right now.
One of the things I repeatedly come back to when thinking about this subject is our love for stories of comebacks or some heroic fight against everything that went wrong. We have so much respect and love for that person because of the struggles they overcame while overlooking people who may have achieved success by mere chance. That's because generally, the person has overcome something we are personally going through usually. This gives us hope that we may overcome our own struggles. Reminds us that we're fighting for something and if we just hold on a little bit more, victory will be ours. We all love a good story, and we want that story to be us.
Currently, I feel like I'm in one of those moments. It almost feels like slow motion, I'm waiting for the time to tick by minute by minute. A time in the future I will probably look back on this period of my life as a pivotal moment that has dictated the future of the rest of my life. Is that called an existential crisis?
I've been reminding myself of those stories and how I want to be looked back upon. It's selfish but reminds me that we all just want to matter. We are in a constant battle seeking understanding and giving meaning to our life is no different. That is what is driving my fight.
I'm not giving up yet.